both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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