the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
