when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
