Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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