I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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