we're chasing vodka with high fives
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize