My sheets look like a crime scene.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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