i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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