Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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