it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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