we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
