this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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