My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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