absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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