Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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