i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
