somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
