i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
