i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
