brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
