Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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