At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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