Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why do cheetos always look like penises
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
