Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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