I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize