I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
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girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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