My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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