My brain says no but my pants say off.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
