with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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