Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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