a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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