So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
