i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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