Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
