it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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