Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I know her cup size but not her name....
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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