The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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