Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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