wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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