I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
