i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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