My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
3pm strippers are depressing
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
