I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
In America we eat man semen.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
