"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
