Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
