she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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