I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
