Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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