clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
