1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
