why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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