And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
