I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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