i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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