he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
